Monday, 9 February 2009
Why are you here?
Not that it isn't lovely to *see* you of course, but maybe you'd like to go here instead, to read my exciting new blog for 2009...
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Back from the dead
Ahem, yes I am still alive. Hello! For the three of you loyal people still following my blog (*waves*) please accept my apologies for the shameful lack of posts over the past few months. What can I say, pesky life keeps getting in the way… On a more positive note, an announcement: I have now finished the first draft of my second novel, which means, aside from anything else, I can now say I’ve written two novels! Without wishing to sound too swollen-headed, I do feel ever so slightly impressed with myself for it. Two whole books, who would have thought it?! I struggled with four essays a term at uni...
However, a first draft, as everyone knows, does not a decent novel make, so I’m now going to be devoting my time to editing and transforming it into something vaguely readable. Hence speculative apologies for the inevitable lack of blog posts in the foreseeable future. I am also working on relaunching the blog and my woefully out-of-date website so stay tuned, oh three loyal fans, and I shall be back again shortly…
However, a first draft, as everyone knows, does not a decent novel make, so I’m now going to be devoting my time to editing and transforming it into something vaguely readable. Hence speculative apologies for the inevitable lack of blog posts in the foreseeable future. I am also working on relaunching the blog and my woefully out-of-date website so stay tuned, oh three loyal fans, and I shall be back again shortly…
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
More mememe
Okay, third lazy post in a row. I know, I know, how dare I have the audacity to call myself a blogger? Anyway, this is the Spread the Word tag, courtesy of Miss Poppy.
The rules of the tag are:
1. link to the Spread the Word site (if you want to that is) and the blog that linked to you (again, if you feel like it.)
2. List the books named by the person who tagged you (to pass on the word of mouth) and then add 3 to 5 books you want to Spread the Word about.
3. Tag five people and let them know these rules.
4. The next person copies yours (and if feeling generous as many as went before as they wish) and puts theirs. Easiest is just to put a link to their post.
So, here's a link to Poppy's word of mouth books.
OK, so now my turn. Eeek, this is hard. Hmmm...
His Other Lover, Lucy Dawson
I've already blogged about this book, so I won't go on too much again. It's just the best page-turner I've read in ages and ages, and I had to finish the whole lot in one sitting - I just couldn't bear to put it down. That's impressive writing, in my mind, even if it isn't the most erudite or worthy of novels... First class entertainment!
My Vintage Summer, Jane Elmor
I wasn't sure about this one when I picked it up, but it's another gripping, insightful read. It's a brilliant 'coming of age' story, with fab characterisation, a twisty, interesting - and best of all unpredictable - plot, plus lots of lovely pathos-y moments. Great stuff. Another one that's hard to put down.
The Pools, Bethan Roberts
This is a really haunting read. The prose is fantastically simple yet truly powerful. It tells the story of a teenage boy who is found dead by 'the pools' - part of a power station works - in a provincial English town. The characterisation is what stood out for me the most about this dark, deep story. Bethan writes with real authenticity about ordinary people, cleverly pin-pointing the nuances that make each person individual. It's one of those glorious books that will leave you thinking for days after...
Phew! That was hard. Forgive me, but I'm only going to tag ma soeur, because this one's been going round the blogs for days now so I think I've missed the boat with my regular blogging pals.
The rules of the tag are:
1. link to the Spread the Word site (if you want to that is) and the blog that linked to you (again, if you feel like it.)
2. List the books named by the person who tagged you (to pass on the word of mouth) and then add 3 to 5 books you want to Spread the Word about.
3. Tag five people and let them know these rules.
4. The next person copies yours (and if feeling generous as many as went before as they wish) and puts theirs. Easiest is just to put a link to their post.
So, here's a link to Poppy's word of mouth books.
OK, so now my turn. Eeek, this is hard. Hmmm...
His Other Lover, Lucy Dawson
I've already blogged about this book, so I won't go on too much again. It's just the best page-turner I've read in ages and ages, and I had to finish the whole lot in one sitting - I just couldn't bear to put it down. That's impressive writing, in my mind, even if it isn't the most erudite or worthy of novels... First class entertainment!
My Vintage Summer, Jane Elmor
I wasn't sure about this one when I picked it up, but it's another gripping, insightful read. It's a brilliant 'coming of age' story, with fab characterisation, a twisty, interesting - and best of all unpredictable - plot, plus lots of lovely pathos-y moments. Great stuff. Another one that's hard to put down.
The Pools, Bethan Roberts
This is a really haunting read. The prose is fantastically simple yet truly powerful. It tells the story of a teenage boy who is found dead by 'the pools' - part of a power station works - in a provincial English town. The characterisation is what stood out for me the most about this dark, deep story. Bethan writes with real authenticity about ordinary people, cleverly pin-pointing the nuances that make each person individual. It's one of those glorious books that will leave you thinking for days after...
Phew! That was hard. Forgive me, but I'm only going to tag ma soeur, because this one's been going round the blogs for days now so I think I've missed the boat with my regular blogging pals.
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
Mememe
Oooh I've been tagged by about a million people. How exciting. So first up, is this meme from the lovely Nik Perring, who has nominated my blog as one he loves. Which is very kind of him. Anyway, here are the rules:
Display the award. Link back to the person who gave you this award. Nominate at least 7 other blogs. Put links to those blogs on your blog. Leave a message on the blogs of the people you've nominated. You can only answer in one word.
1. Where is your cell phone? Table
2. Where is your significant other? Dunno
3. Your hair color? Blonde
4. Your mother? Caring
5. Your father? Wise
6. Your favourite thing? Laptop
7. Your dream last night? Forgotten
8. Your dream/goal? Happiness
9. The room you're in? Lounge
10. Your hobby? Piano
11. Your fear? Heights
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Published
13. Where were you last night? Bed
14. What you're not? Published
15. One of your wish-list items? iPod
16. Where you grew up? Walton
17. The last thing you did? Ate
18. What are you wearing? Clothes!
19. Your TV? On
20. Your pet? Fluffy
21. Your computer? Lifeline
22. Your mood? Tired
23. Missing someone? Yes
24. Your car? Parked
25. Something you're not wearing? Shoes
26. Favourite store? Mulberry!
27. Your summer? Fun
28. Love someone? Hmmm... ;)
29. Your favorite color? Pink
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Friday
So, seven blogs I love...let me see. My sister, Poppy, Myrtle and Runaway Granny... That'll have to do, cos all the other blogs I read have already been tagged!
Wednesday, 22 October 2008
Turn it up
Okay, I know, I know, it's another flippin' YouTube video. But bear with me.
I would like to make a public request that if I die alone and bitter, this song be played at my funeral.
I should probably point out that I have no intention of dying in such a way, but have briefly considered it might be worth it because of just how much I LOVE this song at the moment (and yes, I know it's really old and all that).
Right, thanks. Glad I got that off my chest.
Feel free to listen to it now, and ponder my occasional weirdness*.
* Might also be worth pointing out I'm off work this week, in writing hibernation, which does always have a rather strange effect on me...
I would like to make a public request that if I die alone and bitter, this song be played at my funeral.
I should probably point out that I have no intention of dying in such a way, but have briefly considered it might be worth it because of just how much I LOVE this song at the moment (and yes, I know it's really old and all that).
Right, thanks. Glad I got that off my chest.
Feel free to listen to it now, and ponder my occasional weirdness*.
* Might also be worth pointing out I'm off work this week, in writing hibernation, which does always have a rather strange effect on me...
Thursday, 16 October 2008
How to write a book
by Charlotte Duckworth (AKA the world's least efficient writer)
Step 1
Have an idea. Get very excited about idea. Ruminate on idea for weeks/possibly months.
Step 2
Start telling people about idea. Feel encouraged by interest. Decide you are in fact a genius, about to write a seminal work of fiction that will most likely change the world and everyone in it. Smile a lot on trains.
Step 3
Open Word, create new blank document. Feel briefly irritated that you actually have to write the whole thing down. Then feel astonished as first scene writes itself, full of pithy observations, strikingly clever double entendres and adjectives you didn't even know you knew. Finish scene, re-read, feel very proud.
Step 4
Continue smiling on trains. Dream a lot about characters. Feel book is fully formed already (in your head) and thus decide plotting in advance is for wimps.
Step 5
Write more. Feel a little frustrated that it isn't flowing as easily as the first chapter. Reassure yourself that nothing worth doing was ever easy.
Step 6
Become a little worried about characters developing personality/whims of their own. Bastards. Begin to feel a little stuck.
Step 7
Ignore advice of many friends/esteemed novelists and refuse steadfastly to make notes on characters/plot. Late at night, when no one can see, worry a lot about the fact that all characters are rapidly making their way up sh*t creeks without paddles and that you have no idea how to rescue them.
Step 8
Decide you have burned out and 'deserve a break'.
Step 9
Spend a week eating too much chocolate and watching crap TV. Stare guiltily at laptop and/or printed MS every time you pass them.
Step 10
Reconsider advice of esteemed author friends and buy shiny new notebook.
Step 11
Write title of magnum opus in notebook. Then write names of MCs. Then stare at notebook for hours.
Step 12
Send first three chapters of MS to agent, in hope of encouragement/advice.
Step 13
Cry a lot at agent's feedback.
Step 14
Recover from misery, and re-write first three chapters. Feel encouraged again.
Step 15
Repeat steps 4 to 9.
Step 16
Book week off work. Write and write and write despite the fact you know it's getting shit again and the plot has run away with itself.
Step 17
Boast hollowly about superb word count. Confess only to closest author friends that it means nothing as book is now a complete mess.
Step 18
Decide that writing a book is a stupid idea. Wonder why on earth you ever thought you wanted to write (another) one. Decide to have a life instead. Go out a lot. Get very drunk a lot. Pretend ineffectually that book doesn't exist. Neglect blog, Writewords and other writing-related activities.
Step 19
Feel worthless, empty, idle, ashamed and a whole host of other self-loathing adjectives.
Step 20
Reach rock bottom. In desperation, send wonderful, helpful, encouraging friend big chunk of book.
Step 21
Love her for her positivity about book.
Step 22
Write this blog post. Decide to pull self together. Repeat to self in mirror ten times every morning: you can edit bad writing, but you can't edit no writing.
Step 23
Resolve to persevere. Secretly tell self that you are a tortured artist, and this agony is a necessary part of the creative process. Feel like a pratt for admitting this on blog.
Step 1
Have an idea. Get very excited about idea. Ruminate on idea for weeks/possibly months.
Step 2
Start telling people about idea. Feel encouraged by interest. Decide you are in fact a genius, about to write a seminal work of fiction that will most likely change the world and everyone in it. Smile a lot on trains.
Step 3
Open Word, create new blank document. Feel briefly irritated that you actually have to write the whole thing down. Then feel astonished as first scene writes itself, full of pithy observations, strikingly clever double entendres and adjectives you didn't even know you knew. Finish scene, re-read, feel very proud.
Step 4
Continue smiling on trains. Dream a lot about characters. Feel book is fully formed already (in your head) and thus decide plotting in advance is for wimps.
Step 5
Write more. Feel a little frustrated that it isn't flowing as easily as the first chapter. Reassure yourself that nothing worth doing was ever easy.
Step 6
Become a little worried about characters developing personality/whims of their own. Bastards. Begin to feel a little stuck.
Step 7
Ignore advice of many friends/esteemed novelists and refuse steadfastly to make notes on characters/plot. Late at night, when no one can see, worry a lot about the fact that all characters are rapidly making their way up sh*t creeks without paddles and that you have no idea how to rescue them.
Step 8
Decide you have burned out and 'deserve a break'.
Step 9
Spend a week eating too much chocolate and watching crap TV. Stare guiltily at laptop and/or printed MS every time you pass them.
Step 10
Reconsider advice of esteemed author friends and buy shiny new notebook.
Step 11
Write title of magnum opus in notebook. Then write names of MCs. Then stare at notebook for hours.
Step 12
Send first three chapters of MS to agent, in hope of encouragement/advice.
Step 13
Cry a lot at agent's feedback.
Step 14
Recover from misery, and re-write first three chapters. Feel encouraged again.
Step 15
Repeat steps 4 to 9.
Step 16
Book week off work. Write and write and write despite the fact you know it's getting shit again and the plot has run away with itself.
Step 17
Boast hollowly about superb word count. Confess only to closest author friends that it means nothing as book is now a complete mess.
Step 18
Decide that writing a book is a stupid idea. Wonder why on earth you ever thought you wanted to write (another) one. Decide to have a life instead. Go out a lot. Get very drunk a lot. Pretend ineffectually that book doesn't exist. Neglect blog, Writewords and other writing-related activities.
Step 19
Feel worthless, empty, idle, ashamed and a whole host of other self-loathing adjectives.
Step 20
Reach rock bottom. In desperation, send wonderful, helpful, encouraging friend big chunk of book.
Step 21
Love her for her positivity about book.
Step 22
Write this blog post. Decide to pull self together. Repeat to self in mirror ten times every morning: you can edit bad writing, but you can't edit no writing.
Step 23
Resolve to persevere. Secretly tell self that you are a tortured artist, and this agony is a necessary part of the creative process. Feel like a pratt for admitting this on blog.
Monday, 6 October 2008
Genius
I just had to post this (even though every other blogger on the planet has done already) because it made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off the sofa. Back in July, restaurant critic Giles Coren wrote this completely hysterical rant in response to the changes a sub-editor on the Times made to one of his reviews. As you probably know, I spent six years as a sub and it's a thankless bloody job I can tell you. Much akin to being a goalkeeper - no-one EVER gives you credit for the things you save, but the things you miss (or in this case, inaccurately change) you get vilified for.
Anyway, some wonderfully clever person has made this video response, and seriously, it's one of the most hilarious things I've seen all year. The last line nearly killed me...Enjoy!
Anyway, some wonderfully clever person has made this video response, and seriously, it's one of the most hilarious things I've seen all year. The last line nearly killed me...Enjoy!
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